


So long, brother

by Plaidsoulseller



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive John Winchester, deans pov, sam leaving for college, the big fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3281468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plaidsoulseller/pseuds/Plaidsoulseller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of what happened when Sam leaves for Stanford and Dean is stuck with his father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Accepted

**Author's Note:**

> Today was a really happy day for me. I found out my little sister, whom I've always looked after and cared for, got into he choice school for pharmaceuticals. However, growing up in an abusive home where I always had to be the brave older sister, it kills me a little that she won't be close to me anymore. She's the one who got me into supernatural, and immediately I saw Sam and Dean's relationship parallel our own in many ways (just without the monsters and dead mother and those little details ;P). This story is dedicated to her.

Dean walked into the room and threw his coat on the chair. "Took care of another ghost with dad. Hope your studying was worth it, I got pretty beat up." He scowled as he dropped his duffel on the floor, wincing when he twisted the wrong way and thinking that he may have a broken rib or two.

 

Sam didn't reply right away, his nose buried in documents and a hard look on his face. Dean immediately knew something was up. "Oh, sorry." He eventually said.

 

"Whatcha got there, Sammy?" Dean asked trying to peek at the documents in front of his brother. Since Sam had a growth spurt last summer, he was almost as tall as Dean and still growing. Dean was completely done growing, as he was now 22. Sam hunched over the documents and tried to hide them away. 

 

"When will dad be home?" 

 

"I don't know. He went to the bar." Dean gave up on trying to read his brothers papers and figured he'd just do it when Sam fell asleep anyways. He laid on the bed hissing at the pain in his chest.

 

"You didn't want to go with him?"

 

"Nah, like I said, I got pretty beat up and we have beer here anyway."

 

"And he gets mean when he's drunk."

 

"He's doing the best he can, Sammy. It's a hard job, you know that."

 

Sam huffed out a breath of air and came over to sit next to where Dean was laying. "You want me to grab you one?"

 

"That'd be fantastic, Sammy."

 

Sam grabbed Dean a bottle of the kind he preferred. Dean really just liked beer, but he had a small preference between cheap beers and Sam knew it. Not that Dean would ever turn his nose up at anything alcoholic offered to him.

 

"When dad comes home I have something to tell you guys." Sam said carefully, opening a beer for himself too. 

 

"Can I get the sneak preview or are you gonna keep me on the edge of my seat all night?" Dean said with a little bitterness in his voice.

 

"No, I mean, I want to tell you both at the same time."

 

"Fine."

 

Dean drifted off to sleep shortly after that. Still aching and sore all over. He didn't understand why Sam was never available to hunt. Why did he hate it so much? At least they were making a difference in the world. Saving people. Hunting down all the evil things that go bump in the night. Making the world a little bit better everyday. Hell, they were heroes. And who didn't want to be a hero, right?

 

Dean woke with a start and a searing pain in his chest. Definitely broken, he decided as  he blinked sleep away from his eyes. Their father had returned from the bar and Sam was nudging Dean to wake him. "I'm up, Sammy, I'm up!" Dean practically yelped. John was sitting in the armchair, beer in hand and looking more than three sheets to the wind. Dean hoped that Sam had good news. 

 

"Okay, well, now that you're both here, I've got something important to say." Sam said, he was trying to keep his voice steady. This was not going to be good news. Dean adjusted himself on the bed and looked over at John who looked more annoyed by his younger son's voice than anything else. "I got a letter in the mail today. One I've been waiting for a long time to receive." Dean was growing more and more anxious with every word. He knew where this was going. "I know that you want me to stay in the family business, dad, but Im an adult now and I need to start making my own decisions about where I'm going in life." John now looked completely disgusted by Sam's voice. "I got an acceptance letter from Stanford University. I got a really big scholarship and tuition will be waived based on my SAT and MCAS scores. I'm going to college."

 

Sam seemed to loosen up a bit as he let the words sink in. Maybe this wouldn't turn into a fight after all.

 


	2. I've Done What I Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is healing from a broken rib. Sam is laying it out for his family. What could possibly go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, exactly a month later and I'm updating. A lot has happened in the past month, and more acceptance letters and conversations on how far away she wants to be. It's stressful, but exciting since I never went to college myself. Anyway, thank you all for the kudos and any comments would be appreciated!

"You're not going." John hissed and brought the beer to his lips. 

The color seemed to drain from Sam's face before his cheeks grew red with anger. "Yes, dad. I'm going." He said with a tone of finality in his voice that no one could mistake. He was resolute. 

"Oh? You're just gonna up and leave your family? We need you, Sam! We need all the help we can get hunting down those sons of bitches out there. You can't just abandon us. I raised you better, boy!" John was leaning forward, but not standing yet. No, he knew when to deliver the kill blow. Whether it was dealing with ghouls, shifters, or his sons, he knew just where and when to hit.

"Sam, dad. Don't do this..." Dean sighed and winced as he sat up I on the bed. A wave of pain shot through his core. It made his vision blacken around the edges, but he was willing himself not to pass out. Not yet. 

"'raised me better'?" Sam scowled, "No. You raised me to be a goddamn soldier! To follow orders and to kill things! To blindly follow direction! I don't want this life, dad! It may be fine for you but I want to do other things! I want to make something of myself instead of ending up left for dead before I'm 30!" 

There was a very slight, almost imperceptible glint in John's eye when Sam said his last bit. An understanding he could never admit to. So he didn't. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" John's voice lowered, "Those things killed your mother. And you're gonna sit back and tell me that getting rid of those monsters isn't 'making something' of yourself? We're saving people. What are you gonna learn in college that could help with that, huh?"

Dean sat patiently and quietly as his family fought. Only interjecting if a low blow was added unfairly. He didn't side with either of them. He knew that Sam wanted to go to college. He knew his dad would never give up the hunt. 

Sam started up again. "We're no closer to finding mom's killer than we were 10 years ago. There's always going to be another monster, another lead, and another case! We might never find mom's killer and I'm sorry if you can't face the reality of that situation!"

As if on cue, John's phone buzzed. "Yeah," he answered gruffly, "okay. Sure. Yup. Thanks, I'll go check it out."

Sam was frowning. Dean wanted to do something, anything. But he just sat in silence. He knew better than to yell at his father when he'd been drinking. And he knew he could have words with Sam later. That way his father wouldn't know what he actually thought of it. 

"I have to go." John said standing and gathering his items from around the motel. "Dean, you look after Sam. And go take a goddamn shower, you smell like a swamp." 

Dean winced at the thought of standing for even 15 minutes to shower. He just wanted to lie in bed and maybe take enough painkillers to leave him in a deep sleep. "Yes, sir." He responded automatically. Sam shot him a look. 

John was gone within the hour and no one had spoken much since the argument. The whole room felt smaller. Once John had left, Dean breathed an audible sigh of relief and Sam just sat, still brooding. 

"Alright, man, here's the deal," Dean started, "I'm like 100% sure I've got a broken rib. I'm gonna take some painkillers and doze off for a few hours. After that, you and me are gonna talk about all this crap, alright, Sammy?"

Sam nodded. "Are you okay?" He asked after a moment.

"I'm fine, little brother." There was a bite to Dean's voice.

"Okay. We can talk when you wake up." 

And with that, Dean fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.


	3. The Parting of Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wakes up. Sam is missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm awful at finishing things so I'm really making a conscious effort here guys. Thank you all for the kudos and support :)

Dean woke up a few hours later.

It was morning. He groaned as the streams of light hit his face and he rolled away from him, eliciting another jolt of pain from his ribcage as a reminder that it was broken. 

"Sammy," he started, pulling himself up a bit and rubbing his eyes, "why'd you let me sleep so late..."

No answer came. Dean sat himself up fully and frowned at the other bed. It was messed, but there was no Sam in it. He looked to the bathroom but the door was wide open. "Damn it, Sam!" He scowled. 

He jumped out of bed ignoring the throbbing and throwing on a t-shirt. Once dressed he grabbed his cell phone and went out to start his car. He dialed Sam's number. 

It rang a few times but he knew the call was being declined. 

Dean drove around a while. He got himself some coffee and some aspirin at a convenience store and washed it all down with a nip. He called Sam again. And again. And again. 

The nearest bus station was 5 miles away. If Sam was walking, it would take him around 2 hours. and knowing Sam, he would've stopped to get himself some coffee and to make a plan. 3 1/2 hours. Assuming that the messed bed (as John insisted that they make their beds when he was with them, probably because of his years in the military) meant that Sam had slept at least a few hours, that meant that he might still be on his way. Dean hoped he hadn't managed to hitch a ride.

He drove along the most likely route, to no avail. 

He reached the bus station, and he waited.

Sam arrived not 5 minutes after Dean had gotten there. 

"Sam!" Dean called as soon as the face registered. 

"Dean..." Sam's face fell. 

"Look, I get that you've always wanted to go to college and everything, but we don't live normal lives." Dean started, trying his best to keep his voice down. 

"I know, but this is my chance. I could have a normal life. I could do something I'm passionate about. Why is that so hard for you and Dad?"

"Because its on us to save people. We know what's out there. We need to protect people. It's just the cross we bear, Sammy!"

"That's not it. Dad saves people along the way. He's after revenge. Maybe you actually care about the people that get saved, but he doesn't. I want to save people too. Just in a way more legal and less gruesome way."

"Dad is saving an ass-ton of people. He's doing the best he can. And I want to find mom's killer too. Doesn't that matter to you? Doesn't your family matter to you?" Dean had begun to raise his voice.

"Dean. Of course I care but... We're no where near close. Dad isn't going to give up hunting that thing down, but in the meantime why can't I get an education?"

Dean really didn't have an answer for that.

"He came home last night, while you were passed out. Another hunter took care of the job he was headed to." Sam said soberly. "He told me if I walk out that door, not to come back. I made my choice."

"Sam, you know he didn't mean that. C'mon. Let's just go back and when he gets back, maybe you guys can work it out, okay?"

"Come with me."

"Are you having a stroke?"

"No, really, dude. Come with me."

"Sammy, I can't..."

"Sure you can. We can just leave. Head out and not look back. Dad will barely notice we're gone anyways."

"I won't walk out on my family. If you're leaving Dad, well, then you're leaving me too." there was an edge to Dean's tone.  

"Then this is goodbye."

"Guess so."

"Fine. Call me if you ever get out from under Dad's thumb."

"Have a nice life, Sam." With that Dean turned to walk away. 

Dean didn't hear when Sam said "Please don't get yourself killed." Quietly. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add one more chapter just going over John's reaction and highlighting some of the shitty qualities about him. I'm not sure yet. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes back to a drunk John. Trigger warning for abuse (and a little violence.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm finishing this story here. If anyone has been following it, here's an update to my personal life: my sister has been accepted to a program for which she will get a PhD in about 6 years. I've got the upcoming summer with her but it still kind of feels like my world is shattering. Thanks for reading.

Dean went back to the motel room with anger burning in his veins. Sam was gone, he'd let him leave. He wasn't coming back. Dean couldn't believe that Sam could even think about walking out on his family. 

 

When Dean arrived back at the motel, John was back too. He unlocked the door as silently as possible, hoping that John may be passed out or at least disinterested. He had no such luck. 

 

John sat at the table in the kitchenette, rifling through papers and grunting angrily about witches. When he noticed Dean's presence, he turned to look at his eldest son. 

 

"So where's Sam?" He asked angrily.

 

"He's not coming back, dad." Dean said, trying desperately to keep his voice calm and steady. 

 

"What do you mean, you went to head him off, why didn't you bring him back like I taught you?"

 

"He wouldn't come," Dean could sense his voice was beginning to waver, "He's an grown up now. we can't make his decisions for him anymore."

 

"Are you tellin' me that you let him go without any protection? You didn't bother to tail him or to even try and find a way to drag him back?" John was yelling now. Dean knew he had fucked up. He could hear it, but he just kept thinking about Sam at the bus stop. How could he have done anything differently?

 

"I dunno, dad. I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry? Well sorry mighta just got your brother killed Dean! You stupid son of a bitch!"

 

Dean just stood and took it. He wouldn't make eye contact with his father, and that was the last straw. "You look at me when I'm talkin' to you!" John growled, and Dean felt pain explode across his cheekbone. It took him a moment for his brain to catch up. The smell of whiskey overwhelmed him. He brought a hand to his cheek and pulled it away, the area feeling numb. That's when he felt another, much sharper, punch to the stomach. His rib screamed in agony. His vision blackened around the edges.

 

he took a few more hits before John spoke again, "Maybe I'll just have to beat this into you, you look after your brother. It's all I've ever asked of you. You can't even do that one thing, can you? Do you even care if we find your mothers killer? I'm on it's trail and if we get thrown off because you can't get your shit together and look after your brother so help me!"

 

With that, John delivered a kick, and mercifully, Dean passed out.

 

                                                                                 ************

 

Weeks passed and still no sign from Sam. Dean had looked, only to discover his brother had, in fact, gone to Stanford. Dean presented John with the information, who nodded and said nothing on the subject. 

 

They went on with their lives, hunting things. Until John let Dean do his own case. Then another. And another. They had split up, but there was an unspoken agreement that if they were in a 300 mile radius of California, they would check up on Sam. Dean was always happy to see his little brother, and although his soul ached to speak to him, he kept himself respectfully hidden. When John came around, or when they met up, neither spoke about Sam. He was gone, dead to them. Until they could keep watch on him over a weekend after a hunt. 


End file.
